Watching the Winter Olympics this week reminded me that I used to be a figure skater.
Yes, really.
Not a particularly good or serious one. But between the ages of six and fourteen, it was something I approached with genuine passion.
When I later moved to the UK, that chapter closed. My more nerdy pursuit of classical music took centre stage instead. Different stage, same intensity.
Yet watching the skaters this week, performing to music and owning the ice with confidence and presence, brought something back instantly. A vivid reminder of what being in flow feels like.
Hope.
Optimism.
Playfulness.
Adrenaline.
Emotional connection with an audience.
That unmistakable feel-good factor.
The Neuroscience of Feeling Fully Alive
What we often call flow is not just poetic language. It is a measurable neurobiological state in which attention, motivation and reward circuits align. Dopamine and norepinephrine sharpen focus. The prefrontal regions responsible for self-criticism and rumination quiet down. We become absorbed in the task at hand.
In this state, we feel energised and fully ourselves. Learning accelerates. Creativity increases. And it is in this embodied state that confidence builds.
It is no coincidence that some of our most defining memories are linked to moments of flow.
I experienced this again later in my youth while performing classical music. And much later, after seemingly having forgotten that feeling for a few years, it returned around midcareer.
After my professional pivot, I recognised the same state while coaching, public speaking, writing, or simply discussing the ideas I research and care deeply about. An unapologetic, unexcused passion that brings me alive and allows others to feel it too.
The Element We Tend to Bury
The late Sir Ken Robinson famously said,
“The Element is the meeting point between natural aptitude and personal passion.”
In my work with midlife and senior professionals, I see how often this element becomes buried. Not because people lack talent or ambition. But because somewhere in the first half of their careers, practicality takes precedence over aliveness and we tend to forget what makes us feel in our element.
We optimise for responsibility. For security. For external validation.
And slowly we disconnect from the activities and states that once made us feel expansive and like almost anything was possible.
When clients come to me feeling stuck, restless or empty, the issue is rarely just about a job title. More often, it is about a disconnection from this inner alignment between aptitude and passion.
Why I Rarely Start with “Change Jobs”
Before making radical career moves, I often invite clients to reconnect with a childhood or long-forgotten hobby or interest. Not to turn it into a side business. Not to create pressure around performance. But to reawaken the emotional and physiological state they are missing.
When that state returns, something shifts.
Future thinking becomes constructive rather than desperate.
Possibility feels expansive rather than fear-driven.
Identity becomes broader than a current role description.
I have seen clients come alive again through cheerleading, pottery, theatre, creative writing, choir singing and many other unexpected avenues. It is one of the most rewarding aspects of my work to witness this reactivation.
What follows is not necessarily a new career. What follows is renewed confidence, motivation and a clearer sense of self.
And from that place, everything becomes possible.
Sometimes the Way Forward Is Back
We tend to assume that progress means adding something new. A new qualification. A new strategy. A new job.
But sometimes the way forward does not start with a resignation letter but with remembering what makes you feel alive.
Where are you in relation to that today?
