What are some of the most common mistakes we make when navigating conflict?
Every week, I hear about at least a couple of conflicts in the workplace and the frustration or even anguish they cause, depending on conflict styles and sensitivities.
Ideally, some level of conflict in the workplace should be healthy and constructive. Sadly, we often go about it all wrong. This did not improve as our places of work became more remote or hybrid as it sadly left us alone with our thoughts and interpretations about tricky situations and the people involved.
Here are some fundamental reasons for why conflict happens, and things we, as humans, are wired to think and do that actually make them worse
😡 Fundamental Attribution Errors. We tend to observe another persons behavior and assume that this has more to do with their personality than the situation
🤓 We treat our own thoughts and emotions as facts
😤 Partly due to the above, we often approach conflict from a mental place of conclusion, rather than curiosity. We assume, rather than ask.
👿 We attack the character of our counterparty, and refer to former issues rather than sticking to the current topic. Or, they attack us, and we leap into defense mode 😩
😠 We mix impact with intention, and might even to tell our counterpart what they are thinking. Hint. Nobody likes that. But if we refer to our own experience, that is valid.
😕 We use “you” rather than “I” statements.
😏 We enter the conflict/discussion with the goal of proving ourselves right or defend our position rather than with the goal of problem solving.
😲 We often wrongly assume that both understand what the conflict is actually about.
Which of these do you tend to make yourself guilty of? 🙄
What might you ask yourself or do differently next time when you do not see eye to eye with somebody?
I much recommend the separate LinkedIn Learning courses on conflict management by Amy Gallo And TJ Guttormsen respectively, for greater understanding of how conflict arise, including in a remote workplace, and advice on how to constructively manage them and avoid repeats.
Image is by Pexels Moose
